The Gratitude Project by Jeremy Adam Smith

Author:Jeremy Adam Smith
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2020-07-24T16:38:21+00:00

Chapter 15:

How to Help Gratitude Grow in Your Kids

By Maryam Abdullah

A friend once vented about her teenage daughter being “so ungrateful!” She asked me, “How can she not know how much she has?” And this mom isn’t alone. Parents hope (or even expect) that their children will grow up to be grateful. In a recent study, Amy Halberstadt and colleagues found that parents get peeved when their children don’t show gratitude. As one parent said, “I can be embarrassed as a parent. I can feel angry at [my child] that he hasn’t sufficiently conveyed gratitude when I thought he should.”

How can parents set the stage for their children to be grateful? Research suggests that grateful parents raise grateful kids. One study by William Rothenberg, Andrea Hussong, and colleagues found that the more gratitude parents felt, the more often they set goals to foster gratitude in their six- to nine-year-old children. They also placed their children in more activities that provided opportunities for gratitude, such as family gratitude practices and social service events. And their kids expressed more gratitude.

These findings suggest that both parents’ intentions and their actions are important for how gratitude develops in their children. As researchers Blaire Morgan and Liz Gulliford put it, “It is largely agreed that gratitude is not inbuilt; instead, it develops over time, as certain capacities become available and cognitive abilities mature.” That is, cultivating gratitude takes patience.

What can parents do to help their children practice it? Here are some research-backed suggestions.

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